Reguardless:

I didnt believe in God.

Yet he still loves me. He forgave me, He forgives even when we are so unworthy. Honestly what is on my heart today is how much i mess up. I am so messed up. i sin so much, I cuss, I falter, I literally disrespect my parents like you w wouldnt believe. and GOD STILL LOVES ME. The other night I went to a dock with Stephan, and just looking at the sky at night, it alone is amazing and shows me God's power. The colors of purple literally dancing across the sky, along with dark grey clouds, not to mention the sound of the water crashing against the dock. And its been raining for days, so the water has risen up to such great heights that the dock literally snapped and was floating on the lining of the dock? i dont know if that makes sense, but when i saw this it honestly just made me think of Gods power, and how people who open their hearts to God and let Jesus step from heaven and into their lives, they are lifted from everything holding them back, they are renewed. I dont know this vision has been persistantly replying over in my head.It just makes me think about how God has no limitations, i dont know, that night i gained a lot of hope. Because it had been raining like crazy outside for a week, and constand storms, and this Dock has taken so many beatings from multiple different furious waves, seeing the damage of the storm, made me think of my life, and the hardships I have been through, and how I have fallen so short, I fell of the Beautiful horse once before, I wont let myself fall again, but I crashed off before, and seeing that the dock had been lifted up from what was holding it down, multiple screws, and nails, it broke through ALL of it, and was floating on top of the waves, even with a picnic table on top of it. In my opinion I saw something that night, something about God. It was so reassuring, it was like, no matter what, he will lift me above all things that will cause wreckage. I dont know, i see things like this Everywhere. It shows me that reguardless of where we are, God is there, right a long with us..

Yesterday, someone i used to care about a lot, told me they dont believe in Christ or God or any of the events that occured. so I guess I ask that you, (the reader of this blog, whoever you may be.) will pray, not just for this person, but for all of the people facing things in life, and going through constant struggles, and doubts with God, just pray that they can accept the love of Christ?

-have a good day/night/life! (:

Conceiving Thoughts :

January: a month that seemed like it was never going to end, Life had been throwing so many curve balls at me, My grandma dies, someone I had been with for years left me, I developed addictions, and months before I lost the meaning of life. I let my hardships get in the Way of my relationship with God. I didnt care that he gave his son for my sins. Jesus' last breath was what gave me love and an exsistance in this life.. I literally fell from my faith and turned my back on God. And one thing I have learned in these past five moths, is I didnt know who I was, I didnt know WHAT LOVE WAS. until I realised that it is never too late to go running back to the grace and mercy of God.
He was there the whole time just saying "Krystal Starkey, Im here when your ready to accept the love I have for you" honestly i wasnt ready, I finally opened my eyes. I opened my heart to God, and since then, my life changed, i now cry renewed.

There are so many things in life i have been taking advantage of so much that God has blessed me with. I have a family that reguardless of how much we fight and have differences, they are there for me. I have shelter, and clothing, and CLEAN WATER thats more than I can say for many people. I mean this life could be so bad, and when I was going through what I thought was a rough time, I realise that there are people fighting Cancer of MANY TYPES, and people who are suffering, and crying out to God, that have nothing..and they didnt give up on their faith? It amazes me.. Jesus' wounds have paid my ransom, and i take advantage of the life God has blessed me with. I honestly dont know why I am posting this Blog, or what even made me want to post one, I havent posted a blog in Ages, but apparently God wants me to. The other day while crying out to God about some of the things I was going through and what I was praying about... All i could mutter was "WHY" Why is it that I have to go through a hardship, or why is it that people have to go through things, and Why is it that I had to experiance some of the things I had gone through and I opened a book about 10 mins. later and there was a Verse in bold on the page I opened it to. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. " Declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope, and a future."How awesome is that, God totally answered my prayer, and for the first time ever I decided that I NEED to live a god First life. Before I would always just be like, I want to and Im going to try. But there was something about that day that just made it all change..it moved me, and since then honestly I feel amazing.There are things in this life that set us back from our walk with God, things that honesly blow sometimes, STRONGHOLDS.

Its like God is there waiting with his had out waiting for you to Grab it, and Finally I did. I have been blessed in many ways, God is amazing, he moved mountains, and he put the stars in the sky and he knows them all by name. God is pretty rad if you ask me.

The reason Im blogging.

ASIDE from God, Stephan Morrison. <-- Kid is amazing.
Well this kid has been put in my life, and honestly I have never been happier, but the other day after posting a blog, I decided to read his blogs, and when I read them, they gave me more inspiration, and made me yern for GOD EVEN MORE.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret. every day I write to God, I write my feelings, and what I'm going through, and my hardships and just ways God is MOVING his way through me. It made me think today, What if I could blog once a week or something, and maybe people could read it and actually pick up something off it it. pick up anything. that would make my day.

anyways, back to stephan lol, well not only has he been a blessing but, he is something that completely pushes me in my walk with God. but not in a bad way
This kid motivates me, I see his passion, and how amazly...amazing he is. lol and I can totally see that he is a man of God, and I THRIVE for something like that.. (: so One day when I get the courage to actually tell someone about this blog site, maybe, just maybe someone can read this. But until then, I hope God just enlightens me with wisdom, and helps me help other people.