Conceiving Thoughts :

January: a month that seemed like it was never going to end, Life had been throwing so many curve balls at me, My grandma dies, someone I had been with for years left me, I developed addictions, and months before I lost the meaning of life. I let my hardships get in the Way of my relationship with God. I didnt care that he gave his son for my sins. Jesus' last breath was what gave me love and an exsistance in this life.. I literally fell from my faith and turned my back on God. And one thing I have learned in these past five moths, is I didnt know who I was, I didnt know WHAT LOVE WAS. until I realised that it is never too late to go running back to the grace and mercy of God.
He was there the whole time just saying "Krystal Starkey, Im here when your ready to accept the love I have for you" honestly i wasnt ready, I finally opened my eyes. I opened my heart to God, and since then, my life changed, i now cry renewed.

There are so many things in life i have been taking advantage of so much that God has blessed me with. I have a family that reguardless of how much we fight and have differences, they are there for me. I have shelter, and clothing, and CLEAN WATER thats more than I can say for many people. I mean this life could be so bad, and when I was going through what I thought was a rough time, I realise that there are people fighting Cancer of MANY TYPES, and people who are suffering, and crying out to God, that have nothing..and they didnt give up on their faith? It amazes me.. Jesus' wounds have paid my ransom, and i take advantage of the life God has blessed me with. I honestly dont know why I am posting this Blog, or what even made me want to post one, I havent posted a blog in Ages, but apparently God wants me to. The other day while crying out to God about some of the things I was going through and what I was praying about... All i could mutter was "WHY" Why is it that I have to go through a hardship, or why is it that people have to go through things, and Why is it that I had to experiance some of the things I had gone through and I opened a book about 10 mins. later and there was a Verse in bold on the page I opened it to. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. " Declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope, and a future."How awesome is that, God totally answered my prayer, and for the first time ever I decided that I NEED to live a god First life. Before I would always just be like, I want to and Im going to try. But there was something about that day that just made it all change..it moved me, and since then honestly I feel amazing.There are things in this life that set us back from our walk with God, things that honesly blow sometimes, STRONGHOLDS.

Its like God is there waiting with his had out waiting for you to Grab it, and Finally I did. I have been blessed in many ways, God is amazing, he moved mountains, and he put the stars in the sky and he knows them all by name. God is pretty rad if you ask me.